Trader Joe’s Taste Testing With: Isa, Pauline, Sarah, and Sonia
Reviews written by Pauline, intro written by Sonia, and opinions by everyone.
Earlier this week, I sent out a form requesting food from Trader Joe’s that the students of CPS had always wanted to try but had been too scared to potentially waste their money on. I wrote down the do-able responses and, on Friday we went to work. The four of us took the BART shuttle and went to Trader Joe’s. We searched throughout the store, gathered our items, and took them to the cash register. We taste-tested all the food and wrote down our thoughts to better the school’s knowledge of Trader Joe’s inventory.
Mini milk chocolate peanut butter cups
The peanut butter and milk chocolate meld beautifully to create a delicious confection. They are the only food in the world that is worth the extra calories. Warning: it is quite possible to eat all of them in one sitting during finals week. (Spoken from personal experience. It was kind of an interesting finals weekend…)
They manage to add the lemony flavor without also adding the acidic taste.(FYI none of us actually finished these and they were left on the plate to get cold and even worse.) (Sarah never actually ate hers… unprofessional *smh*)
White Cheddar Corn Puffs
These are delicious; the cheese tastes really… (Sonia was rendered speechless by their mind-blowing cheese flavor). They have a borderline stale texture but it works somehow. If you buy these and share them among literally anyone, you will find yourself with many new friends because they will want to mooch off of you for these–they’re just that good.
Chile Spiced Mango
They taste borderline dusty, like someone left them on a shelf for a few years. They aren’t spicy enough to be enjoyably spicy, it just gives you a weird burning sensation in your mouth which makes you oddly uncomfortable. They have a weird texture not dissimilar to stale gummy bears, and they don’t taste at all like mangos.
Organic Shells and White Cheddar Macaroni and Cheese
Amazing, very cheesy, very creamy; the shells are an optimal shape because they keep the sauce in. Large nostalgia undertones, even Pauline who didn’t live in a place where there were any Trader Joe’s with this type of mac and cheese as a young child, legit almost started crying because she was hit with the nostalgia when the flavor developed and bloomed in her mouth as a flower might in the springtime. Definitely add the tablespoon or so of butter.
Crispy Crunchy Mochi Bites
Rating: 5.5/10 (averaged out, mixed results)
The crunch and aftertaste are very nice, but we would have preferred if there was more flavor (like any salt). They are glutenous. They are decently filling and grow on you as you keep eating them. First bite is odd, second is better. Not really a snack for stress eating during finals if that is what you’re aiming for.
Original Savory Thin Crackers
Rating: 8.5 from Sonia, 4.5 from everyone else
The soy sauce flavor is delightful, as is the crunch. There is literally nothing else to say about them. They’re fairly average. (Sonia says she could eat them endlessly, but no one else agrees)
Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips: Chile and Lime Flavored
They have the taste of butter that’s expiring. Light and delightfully crunchy. The corn flavor comes out just perfectly and they lead you down a wild culinary path. We couldn’t really eat a ton of these, but they’re good. (There were mixed reviews obviously).
¡Mango! ¡Mango! Fruit and Yogurt Gummy Candies
They are hard to chew, but the flavor is really nice. They are definitely too hard though. They have a good texture, but after three I feel like I could throw up at any moment. The yogurt was an interesting flavor that definitely added to the nausea after eating a pile of Trader Joe’s food.
Pound Plus Milk Chocolate
Very creamy; a little bit of an aftertaste that isn’t necessarily bad, just a little odd. All in all, it’s just chocolate, so it’s kind of hard to go wrong. Good for the large group of people that have been acquired after handing out the World’s Puffiest White Cheddar Corn Puffs. Alternatively, this is also good to hoard in your room for months and hide from your family.