Anne Harris and Annie Hassner Officialize Role Swap on April 1st

Anne H and Annie H, after countless retrievals of each other’s emails and generalized mass confusion over shared initials, have decided to officially change places at CPS.

With the full support of the administration, this shift should be considered official as of April 1, 2026.

It was the accidental casting of the teacher formerly known as Ms. Harris into dramatic roles as wide-ranging as “Head Guard” and “Grumpy” to some form of ‘Dragon Body Movement Artist’ for the recent production of “Shrek: The Musical” that ultimately catalyzed this landmark decision.

According to senior Ellie Rotblat, “I am overjoyed, and not a little relieved, to hear about this move. It has caused no end of [redacted colorful word] confusion and will add peace and clarity to everyone’s daily experience to know who we’re actually emailing now.”

While the email address issue has not, in fact, been addressed as of yet, the Radar staff appreciates Rotblat’s resounding endorsement of the move.

Effective immediately, therefore, Annie Hassner will be teaching the English seminar “Psyche in Chains” and teaching P & P classes with Dr. Ali Underwood. Anne Harris, meanwhile, will make every attempt to be on time to each of Annie’s classes and will judiciously maintain her extracurriculars.

Both AHs reportedly look forward to their new roles on campus and can best be reached by hollering their names loudly across the courtyard. At least one of them will respond.