April 1st '26

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Anne Harris and Annie Hassner Officialize Role Swap on April 1st

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

BREAKING: US President Audits Constitutional Law Seminar, Declares War on Iran For 9th Time Using Stick Figures and Highlighters

BREAKING: US President Audits Constitutional Law Seminar, Declares War on Iran For 9th Time Using Stick Figures and Highlighters

BREAKING: US President Audits Constitutional Law Seminar, Declares War on Iran For 9th Time Using Stick Figures and Highlighters

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

The Inside Scoop: How a harmless Junior Bio lab led to the creation of a sentient E. coli on campus

The Inside Scoop: How a harmless Junior Bio lab led to the creation of a sentient E. coli on campus

The Inside Scoop: How a harmless Junior Bio lab led to the creation of a sentient E. coli on campus

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 12 min read

Co-Presidents in Crisis: Inside the Sherer-Chabon Rift

Co-Presidents in Crisis: Inside the Sherer-Chabon Rift

Co-Presidents in Crisis: Inside the Sherer-Chabon Rift

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

Junior Research Paper Debacle: Page Length Crisis

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

A Profile on Dr. Nina: A Former National Challenge Champion and Olympic Prospect

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

CPS CLASS OF 2030 to Include Big Bad Wolf, Humpty-Dumpty, Peter Pan, the Pied Piper, and Droves of Plastic-Lego-Hair-People

CPS CLASS OF 2030 to Include Big Bad Wolf, Humpty-Dumpty, Peter Pan, the Pied Piper, and Droves of Plastic-Lego-Hair-People

CPS CLASS OF 2030 to Include Big Bad Wolf, Humpty-Dumpty, Peter Pan, the Pied Piper, and Droves of Plastic-Lego-Hair-People

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

Kash Patel Set to Begin Residency in CPS’ Very Own Tech Office Following “Hands-On Cybersecurity Experience”

Kash Patel Set to Begin Residency in CPS’ Very Own Tech Office Following “Hands-On Cybersecurity Experience”

Kash Patel Set to Begin Residency in CPS’ Very Own Tech Office Following “Hands-On Cybersecurity Experience”

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

PROM CANCELLED: Spirit Team Embezzled $3M and Two Valuable Works of Art in Shameless Student Council Funds Heist

PROM CANCELLED: Spirit Team Embezzled $3M and Two Valuable Works of Art in Shameless Student Council Funds Heist

PROM CANCELLED: Spirit Team Embezzled $3M and Two Valuable Works of Art in Shameless Student Council Funds Heist

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 12 min read

Music Review: Taylor Swift’s 1989

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 12 min read

An Editor's Opinion On AI

An Editor's Opinion On AI

An Editor's Opinion On AI

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 12 min read

BREAKING: LIVE CHICKEN ESCAPES FACULTY KITCHEN, NOW AT LARGE

BREAKING: LIVE CHICKEN ESCAPES FACULTY KITCHEN, NOW AT LARGE

BREAKING: LIVE CHICKEN ESCAPES FACULTY KITCHEN, NOW AT LARGE

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

Dr. Casimir-Kang Returns to Jeopardy, Makes Millions, Set to Retire at End of Year

Dr. Casimir-Kang Returns to Jeopardy, Makes Millions, Set to Retire at End of Year

Dr. Casimir-Kang Returns to Jeopardy, Makes Millions, Set to Retire at End of Year

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

The Unethicality of the Cougar Mascot

The Unethicality of the Cougar Mascot

The Unethicality of the Cougar Mascot

Andrew Martinovsky

Apr 11 min read

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