PROM CANCELLED: Spirit Team Embezzled $3M and Two Valuable Works of Art in Shameless Student Council Funds Heist

When Ellie Rotblat, JK Fa, Sabrina Kabatchnik, Jonathan Woo, and Bastian Boykin ran for Spirit last spring, it seemed like a dream team. The group featured two former class representatives, spirited star Rotblat, and members bursting with outstanding energy and ideas. Nobody could have expected that the group would abuse their positions to engage in criminal activity and feats of Louvre-level daring.

On March 23, 2026, Secretary/Treasurer Michelle Tang was reviewing Student Council’s funds when she noticed a major discrepancy. At least $2.5M—the spoils of countless dance ticket sales—had entirely disappeared from Tang’s records. She approached Dean Chabon about the issue, confused as to how such a large sum could have vanished into thin air. Deeply concerned, but conscious that he couldn’t let anyone know something was horrifically wrong in the state of Denmark Student Council, Dean Chabon hired his usual private investigator, J. “Sherlock” Tetler, to do some digging.

The investigator revealed that Kabatchnik, Fa, Woo, and Boykin masterminded the elaborate embezzlement scheme, weaponizing knowledge and economic skills developed in College Prep’s Economics class to use the funds to masquerade as renowned art historians and breach one of San Francisco’s most celebrated museums.

The Spirit members divided their ill-gotten gains between the five of them, each planning to use their cut for personal desires. Kabatchnik responsibly saved her money to further a soda-making business (to be marketed to art museum cafés), Woo and Boykin combined their wealth to buy Lionel Messi’s old toothbrush, Fa spent his money on designer curly hair routine products, and Rotblat blew her entire savings on a limited edition Needoh collection, the entirety of which she tragically burst within three days.

Unfortunately, Dean Chabon realized that since the money had already been spent, it was impossible to get it back. Student Council had been robbed blind, and the debt accrued from the forensic detective’s work put the Council squarely in the red.

As a result, the 2026 College Prep prom is hereby cancelled, the party space and decor to be replaced by art generously donated by English teacher Amanda Cadogan.