Dr. Casimir-Kang Returns to Jeopardy, Makes Millions, Set to Retire at End of Year

A hidden aspect of CPS lore is Dr. Casimir-Kang’s legendary trip to jeopardy. However, unbeknownst to the common CPS student, on Tuesday, March 24th, Dr. Casimir-Kang made his long-awaited return to the eternal game. And this time, he made his mark.

Winning a jeopardy record of $27,000,000, enabled by his adept answering of a “Final Jeopardy” question relating to the historical origins of a niche Olympic sport that involves vehicles traversing very narrow spaces whilst playing Mongolian kazoo melodies, Dr. Casimir-Kang has reportedly decided to retire and relish his winnings.

Says Dr. Casimir-Kang, “I am taking a three-year-long cruise throughout the tropics of Bora-Bora.” With that, CPS will lose a legend. We wish Dr. Casimir the best in retirement and sincerely congratulate him on his winnings and our new awareness of a heretofore unknown Olympic event.