CPS CLASS OF 2030 to Include Big Bad Wolf, Humpty-Dumpty, Peter Pan, the Pied Piper, and Droves of Plastic-Lego-Hair-People

In a landmark decision to admit a vast number of students who prefer singing during group discussions and like to skip, dance, or frolic to class, the CPS admissions team said that it was eager to enroll its “most unconventional class yet.”

On a series of revisit days, teachers and student hosts were busy discouraging ogres from eating rabbits near campus, reminding Humpty Dumpty to use caution on stairs and near balconies, and suggesting that bishops leave wedding speeches for the extracurricular space. While some students feared a fire-breathing dragon had also been admitted, those fears were soon quelled when her singing was heard across the courtyard, enchanting all.

Although a number of newcomers seemed to be getting lost easily, with one shouting “I need to find Farquaad,” and upperclass student hosts calling back, “It’s not the quaad, it’s the courtyard, and that’s not how you spell ‘quad’!” all students eventually reached their destinations (after repeatedly calling Golden Drury Lane, for reasons unknown).

With a donkey, several princesses, and assorted creatures to round out the crew, as well as a cache of plastic-topped, outfit-bedecked dancers, campus was hopping. Much enjoyment was had, even though the admissions team was puzzled to receive notes of thanks for the admission to the College Preparatory Swamp.

Regardless, as all of the entities and neophytes left campus, they were warmly reminded, “Duloc the doors after you leave!”